A Rugby Tribute to Peter David Yarr

Scotland beat England at Twickenham, Sailing in Croatia, Touring Chile North to South and a Rugby World Cup. We packed the best days in that we could.

The words I never wanted to write, but that have been written for sometime now. On October 30th 2021 at around midday, my Father, Peter David Yarr, passed away peacefully in the Bristol Royal Infirmary, with his hands in ours. Many of you probably knew him as Dave. He hated that name. He was always a David but he never really wanted to kick up a fuss. 

It feels weird to write about this on my blog- as if I’m selling the story, using our grief and loss to build my platform, but my thoughts are as follows: my love of rugby, my enjoyment of writing and conviction to do what I want and what I feel is right, was fostered and encouraged by that man (and of course my lovely Mother) and all I want to do is tell the world about how brilliant he was. If you have enjoyed any of my work, or a conversation with me or anyone close to him, then you too like and appreciate a little bit of what David Yarr was all about, and that’s a huge comfort.

Dad (right) and his fellow elite coaching team many moons ago, sharing the best of their knowledge on a ferry to France, circa 11am.

There are too many words I could scribble, so I saved my musings for a more formal setting. I just want to briefly touch on rugby here. Once a hooker for St Brendan’s Rugby club in Bristol, Dad soon became a coach for my age-group rugby team at Nailsea & Backwell Rugby Club, teaching us all he knew on the field, as well as making a considerable contribution to our knowledge of beer consumption off it. When we started out we were often on the end of total drubbings, 100 point losses and the like. But whilst every other age-grade team seemed to be struggling for numbers, we consistently had a large squad, with every player given an opportunity. The coaches efforts eventually culminated in a half-respectable rugby team by the time we graduated to Colts. Fast forward and be it as players, coaches, referees or bloggers, the influence endures, a testament to Dad and his fellow coaches.

Dad’s love of rugby shone through right until the end, and it was often a provider of great entertainment through his darkest days (though he didn’t think much of the Lions Tour to South Africa!). The last game we watched together was less than a week before we lost him- it was Saracens vs Wasps and I still remember him commenting about how he’s never been to a worse stadium more bereft of atmosphere than the Sarries one. He also made me aware (as if I wasn’t already) of his bug-bear of line-out and scrum put in’s not being straight, highlighting the fact that they don’t even pretend anymore, as commentators now refer to it as a feed. Certainly an old front-rower who felt an art form had been lost or diminished. He always wanted me to write that article and maybe one day I will.

From diagnosis to now took a remarkably short amount of time, but somehow, as a family we feel composed- again Dad’s honesty and openness to discuss his illness, his fate and our futures, influencing and guiding us through. We made the best of Dad’s life right until the end, and we’ll make the best of life from here onwards. 

I’ll sign off with a few thank yous, and have also left links to donate to the two charities who have been and will be there for our darkest days- please give what and if you can.

• First of all to our family & friends who have been there for us, in a big or small way- thank you. There are too many of you, but you know who you all are.

• To my Nailsea & Backwell age-grade rugby team that Dad coached, who bought him a signed Bristol shirt, donated to Macmillan and sent him a card in his final weeks- thank you. You lifted him at a crucial time.

• To Tom Tainton of Bristol Bears who arranged the signed shirt, as well as arranging a short eulogy at the Northampton Saints game, and to Bristol Bears Director of Rugby Pat Lam, who sent him a message of hope & prayers, thank you.

• To Mark Camburn of Bolivia Rugby for trying his damnedest to sort Dad a shirt and message from Gregor Townsend and for raising a dram in his honour. Your efforts mean a lot.

• To everyone who has supported the Scribbler over the years, particularly those of you who chose to support my sister in her triathlon for Macmillan & CLIC.

• To my Mother and Sister- thank you for being there through this all- I’m proud of how we’re all coping, and I know Dad is too.

• Finally to Dad. We were lucky enough to be able to see you out of this life with the dignity you deserved, hand in hand, and with our final messages. Thank you for everything you have always and will always continue to give us.

For now, I have some grieving, a David Yarr planned holiday, and a significant wine-legacy to make a dent in. Normal sporadic scribbling services to return in 2022, with some great interviews lined up. See you all soon.

Donate:

Cancer charity donation – Make a donation now – Macmillan Cancer Support

Donate – Young Lives vs Cancer

The Rugby Scribbler

30th November, 2021

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OPINION: Homophobia in Rugby. Addressing Israel Folau and Billy Vunipola

Let’s start with Israel..

I’ll make no bones about my opinion, Israel Folau is a bit of* an arse. Following yet another outbreak on social media about how gays, amongst others, will go to hell, Folau has found himself in hot water, with the ARU (Australian Rugby Union) deciding to terminate his contract. I would hope, that my opinion is shared by my readers. Of course, some of you may not agree and I have an opinion of your views, you have an opinion of mine, but ultimately, a public forum is not the place to discuss these things. Rugby is an inclusive sport and whilst we have the freedom to express these opinions, sometimes it’s simply best not to. As many before me have said, freedom of speech does not mean freedom from consequences.

As a professional, at times you have to keep your opinions to yourself. Even if you’re just a blogger with no organisation responsible for you, you have to be a professional. Anyone with even a modicum of intelligence should realise that on a 4 million a year contract, you’re accountable for your words. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but in a position of such influence, particularly over young aspiring rugby players, using that position to share a message of marginalisation is absolutely not appropriate.

Folau is now paying for sharing hate speech. It may be a religious view as well, but the manner of sharing it in such a public domain, in an environment that is pushing for inclusivity, makes it all the more detestable. Perhaps through some legalities Folau might be able to get around the contract termination, but that changes nothing. He shared hate speech as a person with a strong platform, with a role in our sport and ultimately, a role with consequences. That is adult life. As excellently explained by ‘Squidge Rugby’ in the video below, Rugby Australia are not stopping Folau’s freedom of speech, Folau is just experiencing the consequences of his speech. Just because you’re free to share an opinion, does not mean it is always appropriate to do so.

On Billy Vunipola’s comments

Let’s move on to Billy Vunipola. He liked the Folau post and said people should live how god intended. What’s problematic about this, is that the other things are choices. Alcohol, lying, adultery are all life decisions. Being homosexual is not, it’s a biological difference which is entirely natural and acceptable. Times change and so do interpretations, well demonstrated by the fact that Pope Francis has spoken out in support of gay marriage. So sorry Billy, but you’re a bit* of an arse as well. I applaud the people of Bristol for telling Billy what they think. 

There is an argument to be made of course, that us lovely Brit’s went to “civilise” the Pacific Islands by doing what we do best and imposing a religion and an ideology by using weapons. As men of Pacific Island descent, it is hypocritical for us to now criticise their views. I understand that and no one is saying that we’re always right- god knows Britain has been wrong and done some terrible things. Just look at the mess we’re in right now. For this we should put our hands up. We should accept responsibility for our role in the manifestation of these views. But this shouldn’t stop us from believing in what’s right, in modernising our views for the improvement of our societies.

Sadly, the last few weeks make the ‘Rainbow laces’ campaign of last year look a bit of a gimmick, with Courtney Lawes also speaking out and defending public homophobia. It is a great shame, and I hope that the campaign continues; it would certainly be more potent this time around.

Conclusion

As put buy Mr Squidge, I believe religion to be for guidance. Translated through multiple languages and written in a culture long passed, we have to adapt to the times. People’s views and opinions are constantly changing and improving. Once acceptable norms of life such as racism and slavery were challenged, and whilst not entirely removed from our lives, we are changing, we are becoming more inclusive.

If Folau believes that homosexuality will end you up in hell, he’s entitled to that belief and can follow his views by living a heterosexual life. But just as he chose to follow his god in that way, other people chose not to. Other people are different, other people are homosexual and it’s not his role to tell those people how to live their lives. Acceptance of people based on sexuality, race and religion is what we are working towards and expressing views such as those of Folau are anti-progressive.

*a total

The Scribbler, 19^th April, 2019

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