London Scottish and the SRU resolve marital issues


London Scottish and the Scottish Rugby Union (SRU) have put their differences aside and rekindled their relationship it has been confirmed today. The main reason is thought to be for the good of their children.

At the start of the year the SRU took the executive decision to settle down and try and raise a family of their own, choosing to tie the knot with London Scottish (LS).

When citing reasons and official SRU spokesperson had this to say “We think London Scottish are the way forward really. Having explored all avenues, we feel like LS is the best place to rear our young. Richmond is a lovely community with lots of parks and play grounds for our next generation of Scottish players to take advantage of”

However, the relationship hit the rocks when SRU officials Google searched ‘Sean Lamont’, only to find his oiled up, naked body on display. This threw a phallic, Sean Lamont shaped spanner into the works and even caused the SRU to send a hitman onto fellow winger (unconfirmed) Tim Visser, who ‘sadly’ suffered a hamstring injury, giving Lamont a call up to the senior side, thus proving the SRU need not invest in ‘youth’ players. Although not drawing blood, the hamstring injury was enough for SRU and many thought that was the end of the short SRU/LS affair.

That was, until today when the SRU has ripped up the divorce papers (and hundreds of posters of Sean Lamont’s naked body) and re-ignited the love with London Scottish.

In unconfirmed reports it is said that over a candle lit dinner, the SRU and LS ironed out their differences and jumped back into bed together, but deciding this time to only have eight children, as opposed to the originally agreed fourteen.

We contacted LS for comment and they told us “We’re really glad the SRU chose us. Despite Sean Lamont initially convincing them that he would be good for another 200 caps, played anywhere on the pitch, the SRU finally came to their senses. Oh and sorry for making up lies about the SRU, everything is our fault, they are perfect and we aren’t. I was not told to say any of that by Mark Dodson”.

(No offence intended- It’s great to hear the SRU and LS have sorted things and love him or hate him, Sean Lamont is a true servant to Scottish Rugby and deserves all the credit he gets)

When the initial relationship broke down I wrote about the SRU, which you can read here.

The Scribbler 16th June, 2016

Twitter: @RugbyScribbler


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